


Building

by Primarybufferpanel (ArwenLune)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, POV Jaime Lannister, Podfic Welcome, episode 8x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 14:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/pseuds/Primarybufferpanel
Summary: He's spent weeks on the road thinking about this moment. How he might tell her.





	Building

 "You _want_ me to insult you?"

 "No!"

 "Good!"

 He's spent weeks on the road thinking about this moment. How he might tell her. That he abandoned his sister and rode North because yes, he made a promise - and also because he wants to be near her, wants to be the person she sees when she looks at him. Wants to be beside her for the rest of his life, if she'd let him. Should he tell her grave and serious? Romantic like the storytale knight she has always known he is not? Lightly, a jape? 

He's spent almost equal time considering how she might react. With a slow smile rising on her face like the dawn? With tears? With dignified seriousness? 

This is not how he thought it might go.

Jaime knows he's not guaranteed a positive answer. He knows she feels _something_ for him, an affection, a certain kind of pride at the man she has seen him become. She has _helped_ him become, he knows, but he also knows she would not take credit even though it is wholly hers. She dragged him from the gory, rotting remnants of his honour and showed him how to remake himself.

He doesn't know if what she feels for him is a similar kind of fondness and pride as that which she carries for her squire, or if it is as what one might have for a partner. She might not know, herself. Whichever it is, and however much he hopes for a certain outcome, he knows she will not be cruel about it. 

She stood up for him during his trial, before her Lady and the Dragon Queen and all the assembled company, she stood up and declared her trust in him. She _claimed_ him, and it had taken all of his strength not to sag with relief at her words. Even if there is nothing left of the life he's lead, even if his sister and his father and his poor damned children and all the cursed things he's worked for have all turned to bitter ashes, even if his sword hand is gone, Lady Brienne of Tarth stood up and declared that she has space for him at her side, as if he belongs there.  

"I came to Winterfell because—" 

Oh she knows, she _knows_ , she MUST know. He practically rode into Winterfall with her banner waving over his head for all to see. And he knows they _do_ see. Gods, Cersei must have known all along, from the first time she'd met Brienne. Tyrion and even Pod hadn't looked surprised for a second to see him appear.

But in all his anticipation for this moment, what he had not thought to expect is that she took his attempts to make himself agreeable to her for a kind of mockery, as if he's leading up to some grand insult. He suddenly can't bear the thought that that is how they could end, that if he says this wrong, if she's not ready to hear him, there might not be time to make repairs. Worse, if he upsets her, she might be distracted from where her focus needs to be during the fight that is coming, or even might not wish for him to fight at her side where he can protect her left. Suddenly he can't be, he won't be, so selfish as to risk it. 

"I'm not the fighter I used to be," he finally says, knowing he paused too long, "but I'd be honoured to fight under your command." His heart pounds wildly as he adds, "If you'll have me."

She wordlessly accepts, and he lets out a long breath as he watches her walk away. He won't ask her before the fight, but perhaps there is just enough time to show her what she means to him, to convince her of his sincerity. Then, if by some miracle they both survive, perhaps she can hear what he has to say to her. 


End file.
